For those who are suffering, feel unloved and alone with existential angst and anxiety. You are not alone and healing is entirely possible. Please read this. I really believe it will help you.
Lessons
Consider that the issue is lack of Self Love from a difficult conditioned childhood. So many of us that are on the Path and Seeking are here for the same reason. We were never taught what Self Love is as a child.
And when I say Self Love I mean an active inner voice that is always there to Love and support you. Imagine how different your life would be if instead of a fierce inner critical voice inside you had an inner voice of Unconditional Love. This is an entirely possible transformation and it will change your Life.
Not having Self Love we feel utterly alone inside. The feeling is akin to our fear of death. It's the emptiness of not being validated by our inner voice, not feeling loved and comforted, stuck in the darkness without a Light.
The fear triggers our fight or flight system and we are in a constant state of fear that manifests as existential dread and unending anxiety.
Without any way to inwardly love our Self we need externalized love to feel well. When we have externalized love or even just some sort of external validation we feel better. But when externalized love is not present we descend back into the darkness and feel hopeless again.
The good news is that learning how to Love your Self is not difficult. It just takes practice. Inner child healing is a really powerful way to learn to Love your Self and to heal the childhood conditioning that makes us think we are not worthy of our own Love.
When we transform the inner critical voice to the voice of Unconditional Love then we feel complete inside. We have a stable and abiding internal sense of well being and internal joy that is not dependent on the external world to feel well. We become in control of our emotions because we don't base our emotional state on the love of others, but by our own Self Love which is ours to give our Self always and in abundance.
Just as the angry inner critic can cause immense emotional hurt, the inner voice of Unconditional love can bring about the deepest sense of love and belonging. It's a form of inward prayer and once you get the hang of it with just a little practice you can feel the warmth and joy in your heart begin to return and you quickly begin to see that there is a Way to Ascend out of the darkness into the Light
Inner child healing is a very direct method to heal. It teaches you to love your Self and heals the childhood conditioning. It systematically begins to dismantle and heal all the conditioned barriers we have to Loving our Self
Life gets SO much better with Self Love and it just takes practice. At first you actively use your inner voice to love and comfort your Self, but with practice it starts to become automatic. Instead of the fierce critical inner voice following you around, you have an inner voice that is always there to give you words of comfort like:
"I'm here and I Love you and I'm always going to Be here for You"
"You are a beautiful child and I love you unconditionally and I always will.
"There is no one I'd rather be with than you. Even in the darkness I love you with all my heart. We will get through this together"
If you feel called place your hand over your Heart to direct the Energy and say within your inner voice directed at your heart the words written in quotes above. You'll get an early sense of the power of using our inner voice for it's rightful purpose which is Self Love. Overtime you develop your own love language with your Self and the immensity of the Love you feel just keeps growing stronger.
I really hope this resonates with You. Please give it consideration. I was in the depths of darkness and found my way back into the Light and I can tell you that such Goodness and Joy awaits You. It's not just about restoring the inner voice of Unconditional Love, it's also about the end of suffering. No more anxiety, no more fear, no more existential angst. This is entirely possible.
Rumi says "What you are seeking is seeking you". Learn to be there for your Self with Unconditional Love in your Heart. This isn't about treating symptoms. This is about going to the root of the issue, healing the conditioning, and boldy stepping into becoming Who You Truly Are - which is the Self - the One underneath all the childhood conditioning who radiates Unconditional Light and Love always. That Child is still inside of You waiting to be discovered. It just takes practice to heal the conditioning and feel immense Joy again.
Stay strong. Healing from where you are is entirely possible. It's such a beautiful journey out of the darkness into the Light. You are worthy and you have purpose on this Earth. I see your struggle and I honor your courage in reaching out. Have Hope and please, if you feel called,
look into inner child healing.
Inner Child Healing:
Start by imagining yourself as you were when you were 4 or 5 years old. Use a photo initially if it is necessary.
Then as your adult self imagine checking in with that inner child that you have identified. Go to them. I think you will see that your suffering is at root their suffering.
Give them unconditional love. Hug them, talk to them. Sit with them. Soothe them. Use your inner voice directed towards your Heart. Tell them that now that you've found them you will strive hard to always be there for them.
That you're inseparable. Develop a deep relationship with yourself in your heart center. I usually start with putting my hand over my heart and saying with my inner voice "I am here and I love you". Over time you will develop your own beautiful love language with your Self.
Do this frequently. When you wake up, when you go to sleep, several times during the day. Go to your inner child when you're feeling down, anxious, stressed, depressed. Heal their wounds. You can't fix what happened but you can reassure with love that they were in an impossible situation and give them the love to help them rise above it. You're getting a chance to re-parent your inner child.
One technique I found really helpful was to get a watch with an hourly chime. And whenever the chime would go off I would check in with my inner child and give them Love. This really strengthened making Self love a habit.
After you begin to build a foundation of Self love you can then expand the practice to have your inner child bring you photos (which are more like snapshots of memories) of the events that were terrifying for them. And you can use inner child healing to tell them how unfair that situation was, that they are not wrong to feel this way, but now that you have found them that they are safe and loved.
After a month or so this exercise morphed on its own to just directly loving myself (adult self loving adult self). I started to be my own best friend. My inner critical voice too has changed to one of unconditional love.
I really hope this helps
(Adapted from a John Bradshaw healing exercise. John Bradshaw was a pioneer in inner child healing. If this resonates with you please check him out.)
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Joe Turan
- Life Coach
- Tantra & Kuscheltherapeut
00436643884305
www.joeturan.com
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